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How to Speak Kindly to Yourself: The Power of Words and Ritual

How to Speak Kindly to Yourself: The Power of Words and Ritual

Over the years, I’ve realized something simple but profound: the way we speak to ourselves matters. The mantras we repeat, the tone of our self-talk, even the words we whisper silently in our heads, all shape our mindset and influence how we move through the world.

Science shows that positive affirmations and reframing can literally rewire neural pathways. And while I’ll be the first to admit I have plenty of inner work left to do, one practice has made a real difference: speaking to myself with kindness through daily rituals.


Why Positive Self-Talk Matters

When we choose to reframe, we’re not denying the hard things; we’re acknowledging them and choosing to see them differently.

Instead of “You’re falling behind,” I try: “Look at that difficult task you finished.”
Instead of, “Your legs are so tired,” I remind myself: “Your body is strong; it carried you up that hill.”

This shift in self-talk doesn’t erase the difficulty of life. Running a small business, raising children, and trying to balance it all is HARD. But practicing gratitude and affirming my effort changes how I respond, with resilience instead of overwhelm.


Pairing Affirmations With Ritual

Words are powerful, but pairing them with a daily self-massage ritual turns them into something even more grounding.

One of my favorite practices is applying our Anointing Oil after a shower. Here’s how I make it simple:

  • Warm a few pumps of oil between your palms.

  • Massage into your legs, arms, and chest with upward, steady strokes.

  • Speak praise to your body: “Thank you for carrying me today.”

  • When you notice tenderness or pain, soften: “I see you. I’ll be gentle.”

This small practice becomes more than skincare; it’s a way of strengthening the mind-body connection, speaking gratitude through touch. The herbs in the oil stimulate circulation and nourish skin, while your words nourish the spirit.


Gratitude in Motion

Life is demanding. Some days, the endless list of tasks can feel overwhelming. But reframing through self-massage has helped me see the freedom inside the struggle, too.

Owning my business means I also own more choice; choice in my hours, choice to be with my kids, choice to swim in rivers and rest in nature when I need it most.

This practice reminds me: our story, our body, our life is always in motion. And how we choose to see it matters.


Try This Tonight

If you want to start your own practice of self-care and affirmations, try this tonight:

  1. Apply body oil after your bath or shower.

  2. As you massage, name one thing your body carried you through today.

  3. Praise your strength. Speak softly to your weaknesses.

Your body is listening. What do you want her/him to hear? 

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